Navigating the decision to disclose that you are in an adult industry career to friends can be a complicated process due to various factors like religious backgrounds, potential professional consequences, and societal stigma. Remember that it’s entirely up to you whether or not to reveal this aspect of your life, and you should prioritize your safety and well-being.
If you’ve made the decision to share your career with friends, congratulations! We understand that resources and guidance for such conversations are scarce, so we’ve compiled a list of helpful tips and suggestions for you to create a personalized approach.
Good luck on your journey!
- No pressure. Revealing your adult industry career is primarily about authenticity and being true to yourself. Sharing this part of your identity with loved ones is a powerful and courageous act. However, if you feel coerced into coming out by someone else or fear being exposed, remember that the decision should ultimately be yours.
- Embrace your multifaceted identity. Your work in the adult industry doesn’t define your entire personality. You can still be an avid knitter, a fitness enthusiast, or a devout believer. Stereotypes perpetuated by the media may have caused internalized stigma, but you are a complex and unique individual. Remind yourself of this fact, especially if someone tries to reduce you to a single aspect of your life.
- Start with a trusted friend. If you’re apprehensive about sharing your career, begin by confiding in someone you trust. Choose a friend who is open-minded and willing to learn. Ask them to support you in disclosing your profession to others.
- Normalize your work. Sharing your story can foster empathy and understanding, making it difficult for others to vilify your profession. Help people in your life recognize the normalcy of your work by discussing aspects like client screening, advertising, and cancellation policies. This may help dispel misconceptions fueled by media portrayals.
- Prepare a resource list. Having a collection of informative resources can be helpful in educating friends about your profession. Some excellent resources include articles from Bustle, Issuu, and Medium. For friends who identify as feminists, share resources that specifically address how they can be allies to sex workers.
- Learn from others’ experiences. Discovering stories from others who have disclosed their adult industry careers can provide invaluable insights and support. Liara Roux’s story, for example, highlights the benefits of sex work for individuals with disabilities, queerness, or religious backgrounds. Explore more personal accounts to broaden your understanding and prepare for your journey.
- Allow time for adjustment. Processing new information can take time, so give your friends space if they need it. Empathize with their experience and remember that their reaction is about them, not you. Over time, the people who genuinely support and grow with you will become your strongest allies.
Ultimately, disclosing your career in the adult industry is a personal choice. It’s a brave and commendable act, and you deserve love, support, and understanding from your friends. By following these tips and creating a personalized plan, you’ll be better equipped to handle these conversations with confidence and sensitivity.